If you've ever put a condom in your mouth, then you know they taste exactly like they look - gross rubber that's somehow simultaneously both dry and greasy. 

I get they have flavored varieties, but those taste faker than vegan "chicken". It's 2016! How in the world have scientists not come up with a solution to this problem?! Maybe it's not really a priority, what with cancer and things. But come on science! We need more natural-tasting flavored condoms. Here are some suggestions:

1. Oreo

If you're telling me I can get the taste of Oreo cookies without the calories, then you must be an angel. "Milk" would be optional. 

2. Mocha Latte

Bonus points if you can somehow lace the condom with caffeine!

3. Coke Zero

Not Coke. Not Diet Coke. COKE ZERO! If it's Pepsi, I will spit it out (ignoring the rule that spitters are quitters).

4. Blue Raspberry Jolly Rancher

To be honest, I'll put my mouth around anything that's blue-raspberry-flavored.

5. Cherry Slurpee

Looks like I can get this taste for free more than once a year. Who else got their free slurpee at 7-Eleven on 7/11?

6. Vodka Soda with a Lime

Can this condom be alcoholic? Sometimes you just wanna loosen up when you're hooking up.

7. Haribo Peaches

He'd finish, but I'd still be sucking the condom. It sounds gross, but Oh My God these taste good!

8. Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate's healthy, so this will make you feel better about going down on a dude. At least, that's what I'll tell myself.

9. Spearmint

Breath check anyone?

10. Sriracha

Things are gonna get hot and spicy tonight...