5 Parenting Habits That Make Sex Suck
Let’s all take a moment to talk about something that all parents go through but few discuss. How much kids can change (if not flat-out ruin) one’s sex life. It’s not that you don’t love your little ones, but between their psycho sleeping patterns and mood swings, how they like to paw on you at the most random of times and the viruses that they seem to catch from literally any and everywhere…man! Not only do you not have the energy but quiet as it’s kept, you don’t always have the desire either. Yeah, it’s hard to feel sexy with drool and snot on you.
You’re not alone. Parenting featured an entire article on it once. Apparently while 45 percent of those surveyed have sex twice a week (awesome!), 30 percent only do it once a month (not so awesome), 10 percent less than once a month (?!?) and a whopping 15 percent don’t even remember what sex is.
Yeah, a lot of parents’ sex lives suck. There are ways to make yours better, though. No, like really. It’s all a matter of doing a little pre-planning and setting a couple of boundaries with the little ones.
1. Staying "connected" all night
If you have a newborn or you’re a first-time mom, we get the whole monitor thing. We’re not sure why it needs to stay on at full volume, but if you can’t rest without it, that’s fine. But once your child is a toddler, start weaning yourself off a bit. If not, you’re going to jump at every cough and sneeze and not be able to, umm, focus. That goes for other electronics too. Some parents feel like bedtime means catching up with their favorite shows and checking all five social media accounts. Remember you can watch things online now and your friends’ DMs will still be there in the morning. Disconnecting can help you to really connect.
2. Wearing "vomit" to bed
No one is saying you have to look like a Victoria’s Secret model every night (or even every other night). But do you have to wear the ugliest pajamas known to mankind and do they have to wreak of vomit and formula? Silk and satin sleepwear aren’t even the most practical for moms. But organic cotton is and there are some really cute baby doll tops and panties. Or even a CLEAN tee and no panties at all is an option. Just try and practice the Golden Rule. Go to bed the way you would want your partner to (looking appealing and smelling non-revolting).
3. Making kids your additional sleeping partners
Of course, there are going to be exceptions to this sometimes, but here’s the deal. If your child is not sick or scared, they have their own bedroom. The sooner you get them to embrace this fact, the sooner your bedroom can get back to the love den that it used to be. That said, it’s not over our heads that some parents sleep with their kids on purpose, almost like an excuse to not engage. If that’s the case, you don’t need to read this article. You should probably set up a counseling appointment. Stat.
4. Spending the night in your children's rooms
Same goes for sleeping in your kids’ rooms. For the record, children over the age of 3 are pretty perceptive. They get that they have a room and their parents have another. Stay in there too long or often and they’re going to start wondering what’s up. Yeah, don’t assume that just because you’re in there, they want you to be. Kids like having their own space too.
5. Taking time with kids. Rushing sex with spouse.
It’s tough love but it’s the truth. If you can find two hours to watch a Disney movie with your kids for the umpteenth time, you can find (at least) 20 minutes for your partner. Nothing teaches us how to prioritize quite like having children does. If you’re always rushing through sex, no wonder it’s not good anymore. On the tough days, think about how much you love your children and what act got them there. If that doesn’t get your engines going…what will?
