6 Tips for Spontaneous Sex (Even If You Have to Plan It)
Did you automatically roll your eyes when you read the title? OK, when you’re married with kids, having sex at all can be a bit of a project, let alone trying to be all spontaneous ‘n stuff. But don’t be cynical. That spark? That I-just-can’t-seem-to-get-enough-of-you passion? That wanna rip each other’s clothes off even though you just finished having sex feeling? It doesn’t have to be a thing of the past.
Yes, life is now all in the way, but if you bring an element of surprise into the bedroom (or rather outside of it), you can get some of that old feeling back. And when things are sexually on track, it’s brighter days ahead for the relationship too.
1. Set your clock for a "random" time
Sometimes it’s hard for couples to have sex because even though they share the same house, they still aren't on the same schedule. You might turn in at 9pm while your partner is more of a night owl. They might rise at 6am while you set the alarm clock to snooze five times. That can cause you to get your sexual signals crossed. How about this? Set your clock for a random time to have an impromptu romp. Maybe 3:30am on a Saturday morning. It might sound crazy at first but try it. And send a signal that it’s on by turning in with no pjs on. The less work in the middle of night to get things going, the better.
2. Have a lusty letter delivered to his job
You’re gonna have to plan to write the letter. The spontaneity comes in because your partner won’t know when you’ll be sending it. Putting it in their bag or on the seat of their car is one idea. But why not have it professionally messengered over? How would they ever see that coming? And make it a dirty one. One that recharges their imagination. One that will make them fly home in rush hour traffic.
3. Answer the door in lingerie
It’s an old trick that still works. Just ask your man. If your kids are old enough to know the deal, it doesn’t have to be the front door. Wait until they are asleep, put a piece on in his favorite color and then ask him to meet you in the bedroom, in the kitchen…wherever. Packages in pretty bows are always fun to unwrap.
4. Serve aphrodisiac foods
One night, out of the blue, make a dinner separate from the kids. For you and yours, serve up some oysters, guacamole, a pasta sauce with red peppers, an arugula salad or a dark chocolate dessert. These are just some of the foods that are on the aphrodisiac list. When your partner asks you what’s for dinner, just say “aphrodisiacs”. They’ll get the hint. (Read a list of other aphrodisiac foods here.)
5. Get it on in your backyard (or driveway)
When’s the last time you made out in your backyard or in your driveway? In broad daylight, it might be risqué. But midnight? Who’s looking? And chancing that someone might? That’s still pretty hot.
6. Plan a staycation
With your schedule and lifestyle, please don’t wait until your next vacation to have some hot sex. For one thing, when is that going to be?! And secondly, you can create your own getaway right at your house. Send the kids off with a friend and make your home its own lil’ bed and breakfast. With less than $100, you can feel like you went on a trip without going anywhere. Staycations are a cheap and effective way to spend some quality time and get the romance back. Not just the romance, but the unforgettable sex! Even if you had to plan it.
