Are You Getting Married For the Right Reasons?

If you’re engaged, in a serious relationship or wanna be (or if you have some single friends who can check any of these boxes), please gather them around because there’s something that ABSOLUTELY MUST be discussed!

We support marriage. There’s nothing more beautiful than two people in love who are willing to commit their hearts, devotion and bills (don’t forget about the bills!) to one another. But marriage ain’t like what you see on the movie screen. It is work. Lots of hard work! So much work in fact, that we get why weddings are necessary. Everyone deserves a big party---and the right to get a little toasted---before real life begins.

But sometimes women confuse getting married for marriage’s sake and really just wanting to have a wedding. Oh, if people could know the difference beforehand, it would keep a lot of folks out of divorce court.

Let’s make sure you’re not a statistic, shall we? Here are telltale signs that you’re probably more excited about the wedding, than the actual man you're marrying.

1. You're addicted to wedding porn

There are all sorts of ways to be a porn addict! One of them is being addicted to wedding porn. If you have more wedding magazines than clothes and your computer’s bookmarks are nothing more than wedding sites, whether or not you’re getting married, that could be signs of being a little obsessed. To be fair, if you’re in the process of planning your wedding, you’re going to have more info than usual. But even then, your wedding should be A PART of your thoughts and topic of conversation. It shouldn’t consume you to the point that you get the side-eye when someone asks “How are you doing?” and every time you’re talking about wedding cakes and tulle.

2. You've invested more into the ceremony than the relationship

Someone once said that the reason so many weddings go off without a hitch, but marriages fail at such a high rate is because people actually plan their wedding but their marriage? Eh. Not so much. If you care more about the color of the napkins at your reception than if your fiancé is feeling calm and OK about what’s going on, something is really off. A day lasts for 24 hours. Your marriage? Hopefully forever. Which one needs more attention do you think?

3. All you talk about is it being "Your Day"

The reason why the show Bridezillas was such a hit was because it put the spotlight on how cray-cray women can be when it comes to wedding planning. If you ever watched the show, one thing that pretty much all of them said, on repeat, is “It’s MY Day!” That’s half true. It’s you and your partner's day and their feelings and opinions need to be taken into consideration. Birthday parties are all about you. Weddings are about two people. Good food for thought.

4. You haven't gone to premarital counseling

Some people don’t think they need premarital counseling. The stats disagree. Reportedly, couples who go increase their marital success rate by as much as 30 percent over those who opt out. When you think that 50 percent of marriages fail, how about making the time to go? If you can sit through five cake tastings, you can do a couple of hours of counseling. (No, you really can!)

5. You haven't made him and his needs a top priority

Contrary to popular belief, a lot of men don’t hate weddings or even the wedding planning process. What does make them cringe is how the minute they ask and their woman says “I do”, they are a distant memory. Suddenly, everything is about buying dresses, talking to vendors and spending time on the phone with girlfriends. Ironically, as the result of preparing for a wedding, many men find themselves on the bottom of the priority list. Remember, you are marrying him. He is who you are sharing your life with. Your wedding day is just a celebration of the relationship. The sooner you get that done, the smoother the next few months will be.

6. You have no clue what's going to happen after your wedding day

If someone were to ask you right now what your plans are past your wedding day or honeymoon, could you give them an answer? What are your marriage goals? What do you want to do during your first year? Where do you plan to live and where would you like to travel? If while people are asking you these things, all you can offer up is a blank stare, it’s time to do some serious reassessing. Your wedding is a beautiful one, but it’s going to FLY BY! Better have a plan for the days that are to follow. Hopefully, they will be for years to come. If you’re marrying the man and not the wedding, that is!