Facade Relationships: What They Are & How To Spot Them

In the day and age of the supposed "hookup culture," is it possible to have a real relationship anymore? You know, the kind where maybe one person is courted, and the other eventually sees how great the pursuer is, and they begin to reciprocate feelings, and eventually engage in a multitude of activities with an emphasis on gender norms?

With fear of commitment, or the equally present fear of missing out, your average relationship these days may come out of mere timing.

TIMINGIt seems people are often just waiting for the right time to get into a relationship, but the real question is whether the timing is even on their watch! People may have life goals, such as getting married by 30, or having kids by 25, but sometimes life doesn't unfold on the idealistic timeline that we envision.

For those dead set on adhering to the timeline they've set for themselves, or that they perceive society would want them to conform to, they may end up settling for a person who's less than ideal, turning a Mr. Right Now, into a Mr. Right Forever, simply because she's near menopause, or he's growing grey hair. now we enter the facade relationship.

WHAT IS A FACADE RELATIONSHIP?

The type of relationship where two people are in it, but barely. Maybe it's fun, or they look good together, but let's be real: there isn't a true binding connection, and although it may have been rushed and lacks meaning, the couple stays together because of external factors.

Think of the couple with five kids who has grown a part but keeps it together (at least on the surface) for the kids' sake. Think about the girl who's always in a relationship with a new boy at school, so that she can believe she's valuable when someone else tells her she is.

THE CASE AGAINST THE FACADE RELATIONSHIPTo avoid being victim to a facade relationship, ask yourself: how do you feel around the person you're with? Are those feelings your own, or are they more of a relief factor, of not being judged for being single, or getting divorced?

It's important to work through problems. Being open to new experiences and people keeps us connected. However if your relationship exists to fulfill needs that aren't yours. You got a problem. If you're meeting a desire that you can't relate to, it's time to question it! Is no relationship better than the facade of one?