Girl Asks Boyfriend To Write An Essay Explaining Why She Should Give Him A BJ And He ACTUALLY Does It

Ladies, we should be requiring a lot more out of our men in return for a blowjob, 'cause apparently they are willing to go to great lengths.

As a joke, a girl named Hannah texted her boyfriend that she wasn't going to be giving head for nothing. She requested he write a MLA compliant essay on why she should give him some downtown pleasure. Surprisingly, the boyfriend did it.

Since this dude really wanted a little mouth action on his one-eyed snake, he wrote a complete and thorough essay on the pros and cons (but mostly just the pros) of giving him a BJ. 

He begins,

To blow or not to blow? This is a parody of the well-echoed Shakespearean proverb that gauges the pros and cons and consequential successes and failures (the latter of which is indisputably improbable) of giving me a blowjob.

Shakespeare must be so happy that his words are being used to get a college student sucked off.

After he's done quoting the greats, he really sticks to formal tone and lays out his reasoning for wanting to cum in her mouth.

He poses that oral sex is just as necessary food, fitness, and sleep. We're not sure if anybody's ever died from lack of BJ's, but we do agree that sex does lead to a happier life, at the very least.

The boyfriend also proposes that Hannah will benefit as well, since partners who receive are more willing to give. He probably just could have cut to the chase and wrote "Why should you blow me? Cause I'll go down on you more and never bitch about it" and made just as good an argument.

Quoting a study from the Johns Hopkins School of Health, he also states that sexual behavior including S'ing a D tend to increase women's self-esteem. Seems counter-intuitive that a girl who regularly gets a load in the face would have high self-esteem, but then again what do we know?

If you're curious, you can read nearly all of his report below.

Though his arguments may be spurious, we applaud his collegiate commitment to getting blown.

There's never been an official update letting us know if the essay was effective, but Hannah did respond. “FOR THOSE WONDERING: we have been dating for a year. Yes, I do plan on marrying him. No, I didn’t really expect him to write the essay. LOL” Yeah... she sucked his dick.

Next time you're not in the mood to go down south, see what crazy thing you can make your man do. At the very least creatively, you might get clean dishes out of it.