Helping Kids Handle Homework Stress

Homework is tough on kids and parents! Even if your school district emphasizes that homework must be purposeful and meaningful, and teachers are committed to giving reasonable amounts of homework each night, parents and their children still struggle with the time commitment. Here are some tips for helping kids handle homework stress.

Time Management Skills for Kids

It's really important for kids to know how to manage their time, so they can complete their work—and do it well—before it's due and study effectively for tests. 

Write everything down. Using a homework sheet or an online schedule, add the due dates for assignments (homework, tests) and other responsibilities (feeding the pets, soccer practice, babysitting). After adding the due dates, write “essay due 12/10” down on every day prior to the due date, unless there is a day they know they won’t have time for homework. This will allow each item to be completed in increments, which can help kids feel more in control of their time and responsibilities, lessening stress.

Plan to complete assignments in increments. Most kids don’t have a sense of how long a typical homework assignment (math homework, reading a book, writing an essay) really takes, so it can be hard to imagine how to break it down into chunks. This can often result in procrastination, incomplete assignments, or low test scores. Completing assignments in increments empowers children and reduces stress.

For example, when writing an essay, rather than trying to write an entire rough draft in one night, you could encourage your child to write just the thesis statement the first night. The next night, they could write the intro paragraph. The third night, they could write the first body paragraph, and so on. This is a pretty painless way to complete the first draft of an essays within a week, with no all-nighters.

Help your kids choose a reasonable amount of time to spend on homework each day, and then decide how to break that time down to spend some time on each assignment.

For example, let’s say you've got a seventh grader. He has an hour available every weekday afternoon to do homework, and he has a book report due in two weeks and a math assignment due in one week. He could plan to read a chapter of his book each afternoon and do two math problems each day, in order to get both assignments done by their due dates.

Remember to schedule the fun stuff. Have kids add after-school sports, dinner, and even leisure time to their schedules, so they feel like they’re prioritizing fun.

Be realistic. None of us can do everything perfectly. It’s OK for families to prioritize some things over others. For some kids, it's a sport, like competitive swimming or soccer. For others, it's theater or music. Once in a while, academics might need to take a backseat to activities, and that's all right.

Schedule your life each week. It takes most people about fifteen minutes a week to schedule their time, a worthwhile time expenditure if it lessens stress later in the week. Once parents and children have worked together to plan how to get the work done, it’s time to follow through.

Getting The Work Done

Choose the right setting. Some kids like doing homework at a comfortable desk in their bedroom, while others like doing theirs at the family dining table. Talk with your child about how and where he or she works best—in a quiet place, or someplace with some action? At a desk or a table? With music, or without? Help your child set up a comfortable homework spot.

Fuel up beforehand. Well-fed kids have more energy and find it easier to focus. Make sure your child has a healthy snack before starting homework.

Take breaks. Taking short breaks every half hour, especially for older kids, can make it easier to focus. Yoga, meditation, or even a short spurt exercise outside gets the blood flowing and brings oxygen to the brain, making it easier to get back to work.

Supervise homework and studying. It can be challenging to walk the line between micromanaging homework and not helping at all, and this is especially tricky for parents who work full-time. Checking in with your child to see how things are going or having a sibling or babysitter check in if you aren’t home can help you monitor the work without taking over. Doing a nightly check-in, especially with elementary and middle school kids, can help you see what the child had planned to complete and what actually got done. This can help you avoid surprises closer to assignment due dates.

With high school students, you’ll still want to check in regularly to see how effectively your child is using his or her studying and homework time. Is the setting helping or hindering the process? Are study groups helpful? Do you need to look into tutoring? Keep the lines of communication with your child open, so you can troubleshoot areas of concern sooner, rather than later.

None of this is easy, but it sure makes getting assignments done a more organized process, and it allows parents to set mini checkpoints with their kids that don't seem as overwhelming as reviewing an entire essay at the end of the week. Parents can be involved and supportive, without being hovercraft. And ultimately, it gives kids great skills that they'll use in college and in the real world.