Here's a Secret: You Need to Fail to Succeed. This is Why.

You've definitely been there. You've taken a class that you just don't "get." You've tried a sport that just "isn't your thing." You had a failed relationship, so you're just going to lay low for a while, or forever. Failure can feel so low that you can't see the other side of it, convinced that it happened for a reason, and that reason is to stop you from making a fool of yourself again. Those people who are super skilled are naturally gifted freaks of nature, and while you're happy for them and impressed by them, spending any more thought on the topic is pointless: why waste time on things you're not good at when you can continue to specialize in the one thing you know? It just makes sense.

While it may make sense, this mentality may lend comfort, but limits one from any chance at greatness. A recent study showed that people with a variety of strengths (ie: generalists) are more likely to be viewed as assets to a company, and have more monetarily profitable careers than their specialist counterparts. These people are curious, and hungry for knowledge, and they aren't so different from you, aside from being immune to failure. They re-purpose failure to work in their favor.

It all starts in childhood. Gail Heyman, a Psychology professor at the University of California, San Diego, has determined that the reactions that parents have to a poor grade can dictate a child's long term success in that subject. For example, if a child comes home with a less-than-average test score, the parent who says, "This is terrible, you must do better next time," or even, "Well at least you're great at History," suggest that the child's skills are fixed, and that effort won't necessarily help them, since their strength doesn't lie in that topic. They're not talented and should go where their natural talents lead.

Alternatively, if another child comes home with a failing test score and the parent replies by asking, "Which parts did you do well on?" and "How can we turn those hard parts into something that's easier for you?" then the child is more likely to view his or her skills as contingent upon effort. More effort equals more reward, and therefore, a chance at success, inspired by failure.