Here's the One Simple Thing You Can Do to Raise Successful Kids

We’ve all been there: your kid is crying in the next room. Your first instinct is to get up and run to her, to distract her with a shiny purple plush dragon. But, you know there is a bunch of research out there on self soothing and raising children who can take care of themselves (and who don’t live with their parents until they're 35).  So, you sit back, try to relax, and avoid thinking about what is happening to your child. How will she learn to be independent if you are always coddling her?

In a way, this line of thought makes sense, but what would Albert Einstein say? Should you help sooth your child or let her fend for herself? Well, new research has been done and the conclusion might just surprise you!

According to child development expert Laura E. Berk, “Much research indicates that emotions influence children’s physical well-being.” So, if you are not treating a child’s expression of emotions in the right way, then this could royally screw them up for life. Scary, right?

The idea that children should be left alone to deal with emotions can be linked back to this study, which suggests that, “...young infants learn to seek assistance from others to meet basic needs.” This led to concern that a child could seek out “excessive” assistance down the line.

This concern has definitely been overblown. Despite what most cultural sources would tell you today, it is actually better to listen to your child’s concerns (or screams) and try to help her work through them.

Child psychologist Nancy Eisenberg says, “parents who respond to their children's emotions in a comforting manner have kids who are more socially well-adjusted than do parents who either tell their kids they are overreacting or who punish their kids for getting upset.”

So, if you want to avoid your child internalizing emotions and becoming that weirdo who lives in the possibly haunted house with the boarded up windows at the end of the block, then you might want to figure out why she’s crying and help her work through it.