How Many Loves Do We Each Get In A Lifetime? Apparently 3, All For Different Reasons

According to Disney movies we fall in love once and that’s it, right? We wait for a prince to do his thing after we go on some adventure and then end up happily ever - you know the drill.

Well in reality we know that’s not the case and according to the latest from Elephant Journal we actually find 'the big L' three times in our lives; when it looks right, when you wished it was right and of course finally... when it feels right.

When we’re young and easily fooled is when we find our first love. For me it was the son of my mom’s best friend. We were born a month apart and raised to be boyfriend and girlfriend. In the grand scheme of things we’d never work and as adults that is now clear as day, but as kids our love looked right because he was a boy and I was a girl, our parents liked us together and it was as simple as that. That's what our first love is. It’s a love that looks good on paper, it’s our initial idealization of love. It’s basically a fairy tale, but then we grow up and find our next round of emotional attachment.

The next one isn’t the best. It’s harder and we learn a hell of a lot from it. Ugh, we want this shit to work out because we’re older and this is a love that should last but again - it won’t. For me, it was the guy I lost my v-card to. I painted him with perfection but looking at it without those red colored glasses, he was a straight up douche. I definitely learned not to fall so easily and how to stick up for myself more. Like me, you may fall into a manipulative pattern with this love, but luckily most of us walk away from love number two with more growth than scars.

Finally the best one comes out of nowhere. It’s the love that doesn’t take a lot of work because it just feels right. Of course you’re going to have fights about that damn toilet seat being left up in the middle of the night, but hey - you’re only human. With this third love (which I am grateful to have found) you now realize that those fairy tales were far from the real world and that love isn’t about perfection, but you also know from number two what not to get stuck with again. Number three comes with a balance and that’s why it feels right as hell!