If Disney Princesses Did Mom Life
Being a mom ain't easy, even if you do exist in the wonderful world of Disney. Why do you think none of the original Disney films featured their leading ladies as mothers? Those princesses were single AF, and spent their time defending their kingdoms and hooking up with hot single princes. So it's fallen on me to predict what happens after the "happily ever after". Looking into my crystal ball, I see the following maternal futures for our favorite princesses:
Snow White
After leaving her dwarves behind, Snow White had 7 kids. Neighbors often complain of excessive whistling. Every Sunday morning, the family, minus the Prince, goes to the farmer's market to buy tons of apples for the upcoming week. The Prince shows up at the last second to pay, but that's about it. The youngest daughter, named Daisy (sounds kinda similar to Dopey, right?), is extremely vain, and spends hours looking at her reflection in the mirror.
Cinderella
In a sad turn of events, her Prince found another woman with the exact same shoe size and cheated. After divorcing his sorry a** and taking him for all he was worth, Cinderella moved with her two daughters to the Upper East Side of New York City, where she runs a non-profit that helps educate young female orphans. She passed her Fairy Godmother onto her two daughters, whose prom dresses were subsequently the talk of Manhattan for months.
Aurora
Despite being woken up by Prince Phillip, Aurora still goes by Sleeping Beauty. The name fits her, as she spends most of her time napping with the kids. Actually, she naps more than the kids do.
Belle
Belle took a job as a professor of English literature, with an emphasis on feminist authors, at Yale University, where she is beloved by all her students. Her husband, formerly The Beast, became a motivational speaker, speaking to kids about inner beauty and why judging others based on looks is wrong. She has two sons, the elder of which is quite hairy. Her younger son is named Chip, after a certain teacup.
Jasmine
Princess Jasmine left Agrabah to pursue a modeling career in Los Angeles. She's become one of the most famous models in the world while Aladdin drew from his experience running from authorities as a street rat to become a world-class parkour athlete. Along with her husband and 3 kids, Jasmine lives with 16 nannies and 4 dogs, each of a different exotic breed. Each of children are hugely popular on Instagram. The family lives next door to the Beckhams.
Pocahontas
Pocahontas is a single mother (Disney left out the part where she and John Smith hooked up). She is a fiercely strong woman who serves as an excellent role model for her daughter. They live in Washington D.C. as Pocahontas works high up in the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency). Congress-men and -women have the utmost respect for her. In her spare time, she creates exquisite watercolor paintings.
Elsa
Elsa became an international pop sensation, and is now in residency at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. Critics have called her the next Celine Dion. She lives with her young son, who is a fierce dancer and is currently being considered for the touring cast of Broadway's smash hit "Hamilton."
