If The Kardashians Played "Survivor", Who Would Be Voted Off First?
"Survivor" has been on the air for over 15 years now. If you don't know how the game is played (have you really never seen an episode?!), here's a basic premise:
16-20 castaways are dropped off in a remote location, usually a beach. There, they are sorted into tribes and those tribes compete in challenges to win what's called "immunity," which will protect you and your team from being eliminated from the game. The losing tribe must go to "tribal council," where they will vote one of their own off. Eventually, there will be one sole survivor, who wins a million bucks! There's a ton of backstabbing, manipulation, semi-starvation, and exhaustion, all of which make for incredible television.
Get the picture? So I'm curious to know what would happen if America's royal reality family, the Kardashians, decided to play the game...
The players: Caitlyn Jenner, Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Khloé Kardashian, Kanye West, Scott Disick, Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, and Rob Kardashian.
Let the game of Krazy Kardashian Survivor begin...
Voted off 1st: Kanye West
Reasoning: Kim tried to save Kanye, but people were just sick of his crazy remarks and overrated rapping. He did nothing to help around camp, and during challenges, he was lazy AF.
Voted off 2nd: Rob Kardashian
Reasoning: Khloé was still pissed about Rob and Blac Chyna. She pretended to make up with him while she went behind his back and convinced the others to vote him off. Rob was blindsided at tribal council, and went home crying. Hopefully, Blac was there to hold him.
Voted off 3rd: Kylie Jenner
Reasoning: Kris knew her youngest daughter just wasn't cut out for the wilderness. Every night, Kylie was whining about not being able to do her lips. Kris enlisted the help of Caitlyn to vote Kylie off.
Voted off 4th: Caitlyn Jenner
Reasoning: After working with Caitlyn to eliminate Kylie, Kris knew this was her chance to blindside Caitlyn. She likes Caitlyn enough, but at the end of the day, Caitlyn is still a former Olympian who kept dominating in the physical challenges. She was a threat that needed to be eliminated.
Voted off 5th: Kim Kardashian
Reasoning: Kim was shocked as Jeff Probst, the host, read the votes at Tribal Council. What happened? Scott and Kourtney teamed up, despite their personal drama, to plot against Kim. They knew if she kept going, she'd win everyone over and coast all the way to the million (not that she needs it). She left tribal council ugly crying every step of the way.
Voted off 6th: Khloé Kardashian
Reasoning: An alliance formed between Kris, Scott, and Kourtney. So those 3 debated whether to send home Khloé or Kendall. Khloé was clearly the bigger threat: she was physically stronger and way smarter than Kendall. So, they sent Khloé packing.
Voted off 7th: Kris Jenner
Reasoning: Kris was furious when her alliance turned on her. But what were Scott and Kourtney supposed to do?! Kris is perhaps the smartest strategist to ever play the game. Just look at her job in real life: she manipulates the public into falling in love with her family. Kourtney and Scott knew she'd win if she made the final 3. So they stabbed her in the back (figuratively speaking of course).
Voted off 8th: Kendall Jenner
Reasoning: She was a weak player that only made it this far because she was never a threat. Her under-the-radar gameplay was a solid choice, because ultimately, what else did she have to offer?
Final tribal council: Kourtney vs. Scott
Kourtney Kardashian is proclaimed the winner after receiving all the votes from the jury (made up of all the people formerly voted off). Why? Because Kardashians stick together. Scott left Kourtney; there was no way he was getting anyone's vote. Kourtney knew this all along, which is why she brought him to the end with her. She deserves the title of "solve survivor." Well done Miss Kourtney!
