Legitimate Needs or Just a Nag? Are You in Need or NEEDY?

How many women are willing to admit they’re a nag? You know, someone who is constantly asking (or saying) the same thing over and over again. If you really want to know if you’re one, you’re probably better off asking your significant other. Just don’t get mad if they don’t tell you want you want to hear.

Real talk, all of us have needs. Stating them is not nagging. But when you feel like things are not happening in the way (or time) that you want and you keep harping on it until it does, that goes beyond wanting your needs met. That goes into wanting everything to go your way. And like a dripping faucet, that can get to be annoying overtime (to say the least).

If you’re still not sure if you fall into the category of having a need or being a nag, that’s cool. We’ve got a “nag list” to check out. Go through it. Share it. And where it applies, make some adjustments.

A woman or man with needs is natural. A woman or man who nags is on his/her way to destroying the relationship.

1. A nag is controlling

It’s crazy how some people “miss” this initial point but it’s true. A nag tends to be a pretty controlling person. That’s why they’re nagging in the first place. It’s because they want something to happen when, where and how they want it to. Some nags even go so far as to demand service with a smile. You’re not going to be in a relationship very long (especially a healthy one) if nagging is your approach. You’re supposed to be in a partnership, not a dictatorship.

2. A nag is impatient

If you’ve ever interviewed a nag and ask them if they’re impatient, they’re probably gonna say “No. I just want things done at the time I expect them to be.” Whether it’s hanging up some curtains or being ready at a certain time for an engagement, asking someone to do something does not automatically mean that it will---or even should---be on your schedule. To believe otherwise means not only are you probably a nag, but you could stand to learn how to be more patient.

3. A nag is a broken record

What makes a nag think that repeating themselves over and over again is going to accomplish anything? It usually just puts them and the person on the listening end in a really crappy mood. Plus, it tends to make the person they’re nagging feel like a child rather than an adult. Say it twice. If nothing changes, wait a bit and approach your inquiry as a question rather than a command. Oh, and be prepared for the fact that you might not like the answer. Yeah, that’s something else nags have to learn. Acceptance.

4. A nag doesn't compromise

More times than not, a nag is out to get their own way. No ifs, ands or buts. And that’s why they’re nagging in the first place. To make things happen, on their terms. One way to make things happen for you a lot faster is to be open to compromise; to be willing to meet someone halfway. Be careful with that whole “my way or the highway” approach. It could backfire on you.

5. A nag is rarely ever satisfied

If you’re currently reading this and you realize you happen to be in a relationship with a nag, stand up for yourself. Let them know that you have heard their requests and either you’re processing or about to do it. If you succumb to their nagging every time, you send the message that their tactic is working and they will do it constantly. A nagger who is enabled is rarely ever satisfied. Talk about annoying.

6. A nag can't stand nags

Now here’s a little social experiment. Try nagging a nag and watch how quickly you set them off! Some nags are malicious. But even more of them don’t even realize the damage they are doing until you do it to them. Want a break a nag of their nagging habit, show them what it feels like to be constantly reminded of or told to do something. Let them know that it’s one thing to have a need. It’s another to nag someone to death until that need is met.