Social Media Savvy: How to Handle Trolls and Negativity (the Right Way)

Drama. There’s not one day that goes by when an entertainment website or gossip blog isn’t posting some sort of “verbal war” that’s going on between two celebrities. Not face-to-face. On Twitter. On Facebook. On Instagram. Sometimes it’s like watching a soap opera online!

Something that social media reminds us is it comes with the good and the not-so-good. Not everyone is going to like you, what you’re doing with your life or what you have to say. But just like in the real world, it’s important to remember that you don’t need everyone to. You also don’t need to rely on their validation to feel good about yourself.

That doesn’t change the fact that some people are negative trolls that will do everything they can to get on your last nerve. What should you do? We’ve got some tips on how to shut ‘em down.

1. Think before you post

The first rule---and please don’t ever forget it---is to think twice before you post anything. Not so that you’ll second-guess yourself, but so you’re sure that you’re willing to deal with the ramifications of whatever picture you share or comment you make. A ton of people type like they talk---they say things without really thinking them through first. It’s hard to take something back once you hit “send”. It really is best to wait a few extra seconds than to have regrets on the back end.

2. Don't immediately respond

Just like you might be guilty of “typing before you think”, so are millions of people out in cyberspace. Some are shooting off. Some are taking out their stress on people online (because it’s easier to do than with folks they deal with on a daily basis). Some are just jerks looking for opportunities to under someone’s skin. Something that all of these categories have in common is you don’t need to react to every little thing that they say. Think before you respond. 8 times out of 10, you’ll realize it’s not even worth addressing. The other two times, you’ll be glad that you provided a clear and concise comment. One that you won’t regret.

3. Process what your end game is

Unless you have a ton of time on your hands or you like to argue, why even give trolls and negative people your attention? It’s not like you’re going to win a million dollars for the best comeback! A wise person doesn’t only think about what to do in the moment, but how it will benefit them in the ones to follow. If nothing beneficial is going to come from going back and forth, don’t do it.

4. Don't take everything personally

We all have feelings and feelings can get hurt. It’s one thing to read something that rubs you the wrong way. It’s another matter entirely to read something that leaves you devastated; especially if it’s coming from someone you don’t know or worse (and more cowardly) an anonymous source. If someone says something to you or about you that is not true, try and not take it personally. If there is some truth to it, use it as a time, not to go on the attack but to think about why it offended you so much. Sometimes negativity can be a conduit to positive change. If you allow it to be.

5. Remember who your true friends are

Facebook really caused a firestorm when they decided to call people who connect with others “friends”. Look, most of the people you communicate with online are not your friends. Shoot, a lot of people who have your phone number aren’t either. Friends know the real you. Friends are there in the good times and bad. Friends cheer you on and support you. Don’t look for social media to define friendship to you. Do that all on your own.

6. Avoid "last word syndrome"

If you’re someone who suffers from “last word syndrome”, hopefully social media can break you of that! A lot of people who are obsessed with getting the last word are ego maniacs or insecure (which are usually one in the same). It’s a power play, but when you know who you are and what you represent, you don’t have to prove that to anyone. You’ll never leave your house if you feel like you have to have the last say all of the time. If it calls for a reply, think it through, make your point and move on with your day. Trolls will move on to someone else eventually. When they know you’re not falling (anymore) for their negativity.