The 'Mad Pooper' Of Colorado Spends Every Morning Jogging & Crapping On People's Lawns

You think having to pick up a dog’s crap is bad? Try cleaning up after an adult woman who continually thinks your front yard is a port-a-potty.

That’s right – a female jogger in Colorado Springs has been regularly pooping all over an innocent neighborhood in the middle of her workouts.

You can forgive resident Cathy Budde for feeling bad for the mysterious lady at first. Her children were the first ones to spot "The Mad Pooper"(their entirely appropriate name for this woman) dropping a deuce in their front yard, and after Budde ran outside and asked what the hell she was doing, the woman apologized and ran off. Budde assumed the lady got sick or something, would soon return with a bag to clean up after herself, and then, out of shame, never show her face on their street again. 

Nope. The lady reappeared a week or so later to deliver her second number two. And other people in the neighborhood have seen the Mad Pooper unloading last night’s enchiladas in random backyards and, once, outside a Walgreens.

As the local news anchor eloquently put it, “They’re getting all too familiar with the paper towels she wipes with, and the nasty surprises she leaves behind.”

The latest strategy Budde and her neighbors have devised is a “smear campaign” – terrible phrasing, considering the circumstances – of public shaming signs to stop her reign of poopy horror.

In the meantime, police are keeping their distance from the situation. They’re asking residents to take photos when she runs by (not while she’s doing her business, for understandable reasons) and try to identify her. This is presumably so that cops can pick her up at home, instead of spending their mornings trying to track down a serial turd terrorist.