The TWO Words That Can Keep Your Marriage Healthy And Happy

Nobody wants to be taken for granted. The moment you start to feel like your contributions are not valued by your spouse, the door is opened for big trouble. It becomes very easy to get caught up in the mechanics and day-to-day grind as the years pass. Than's why saying "thank you" is so important in a marriage. Taking a moment to acknowledge each other will keep you happy and prevent wandering eyes.

According to American psychologist William James, "the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." Depending on the person,  hearing the words "thank you" could be just as welcomed as a gesture of gratitude. It could take the form of a text, an unexpected phone call, a handwritten note, or a meaningful gift. So if we all have the need to feel to be valued and acknowledged, and we have the tools, then why don't we make  a better effort to make our spouses feel the way we want to feel?

Reasons for not displaying gratitude can range anywhere from arrogance to apathy. Frequently, our lack of appreciation is tied to either unrealistic expectations or the belief that our spouses shouldn't be rewarded for doing what they are already supposed to do. We must be reminded here that, as creatures of free will, we don't have to do anything. Everything that we do is a choice. Feeling unappreciated can cause one or both spouses to seek that kind of attention outside of the marriage--a sure recipe for disaster.

To keep your marriage happy and healthy, start thanking your spouse for whatever he or she does. Be consistent and creative in the ways you show your appreciation. And focus on what they did without judgment or criticism. Nothing can take the spirit out of a kind word than the mean one that comes behind it. 

Also, do your best to overlook your spouse's shortcomings. This approach stems from accepting you spouse completely, flaws and all. You are not perfect and it is unfair to expect anybody else to be. You'll find it easier to settle your attention on the best qualities your spouse has.

So, remember to apply the Golden Rule and remind yourself often of this quote by the late Dr. Maya Angelou:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

And watch this to help you come up with your own definition of gratitude:

Oh, and "thank you" for reading these words! (You feel better already, don't you?)