Top 5 Ways to Win Any Argument at the Gym

Top 5 Ways to Win Any Argument at the Gym


We all know half the reason we go to the gym is to win arguments with little bros who have a chip on their shoulders despite not having near the gains you have. Some of these douche nozzles can get in your head and infuriate you, ruining the workout you planned to dominate. You don't have to suffer their bullshit anymore, bro. We got your back.

1. Have a Super Old Weight Training Book


Nothing makes you look more like an expert than an old ass book about weight training. Bros are starting to acknowledge the gains of their ancestors and by reading books that aren't printed with 50 pages of horse steroid coupons in the back. Books like Starting Strength are great to hold up mid-argument. You don't even need to open it, just hold it up and give them a look that says, "It's all in here bro. I know my shit." Of course with the rise of all this Paleo nonsense don't be surprised when some jackass pulls out a scroll or some shit. If you aren't getting anywhere with your book then...

2. Add the Phrase Macro in Front of Everything You Say

You will look like a bro who knows his shit if you drop the word "macro" in front of a ton of words. If someone says, "Your form is looking a little shaky on the bent over row, bro." You can just be like, "Well I'm focusing on my macro form and a little shaking is actually good for my gain macros." No one can fuck with an iron clad defense like that.

3. Anecdotal Evidence

Anecdotal evidence is the best evidence because it only happened to you. That means it's always a surprise. If some dong nugget says something like, "If you don't eat 30 minutes after your workout, you're gonna go straight catabolic, bro." You can just respond with, "Well, I never eat 30 minutes after my workouts and I stay anabolic all day." Basically, any time someone says something you disagree with you can just tell them it wasn't the case for you. How do they argue with that?

4. Use Body Language

A lot of bros forget that body language is one of the main ways humans communicate. We're in the gym sculpting our bodies, so what better time to use them than an argument with some weasel faced dickhead who thinks he knows more about lifting than you? A good body language technique is to angrily re-rack super heavy weights whenever you get annoyed.

5. Be Bigger Than Them


This is easily the best way to win an argument at the gym. Simply flex your superior muscles and let your size do the talking. Really, what kind of argument can they make if you have the biggest guns. Case closed, bro. In fact if a dude is smaller than you and you even think he's about to start some shit, just flex and growl as soon as he rolls over and he'll know his place. Trust me.

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