Financial Friendships: Does Our Tax Bracket Determine Our Friends As We Get Older?
Think about your social group right now. Do a majority of you likely have the same amount in your bank account? As I've gotten older I've started to notice that it's not so much about what you have in common with people as far as favorite bands and food, but more so what tax bracket you can file under. Perhaps with age comes a need to surround yourself with others who can share not only your values, but your rich or not-so-rich tastes in life, but does the amount in your wallet really matter when it comes to true bonds?
Not too many things from college are memorable to me, but there was an interesting lesson in psychology that has always stuck with me. When we're younger, like super tiny kids, we pick our friends based on proximity. I was friends with the girl down the street because she was within walking distance. That makes complete sense. However, once we reached middle school we made new friends based on our common interests. We naturally entered the next friendship phase. Now that I've grown past only wanting to be friends with people who like the same music and TV shows as I do, I've started to notice people around me hanging with those who can toss around as much cash as they can for life's luxuries and indulgences.
As someone who falls more on the will-always-order-a-water side of the spectrum, I can attest to this. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the company of my more financially well off friends, it’s just that hearing them complain about being “broke” as they show off pictures from their fifth vacation this year is not the most pleasant situation to be in. I’m sure they feel the same when we can’t do “better” things because after paying rent, we have scraps left in our wallet. In both cases, it’s more comfortable to hang out with people you don’t have to roll your eyes at, or feel bad for because they don’t have as much.
While that may be the case in the grand scheme of things, look at the various Real Housewife franchises. These women can all clearly afford new Prada handbags any day of the week, but have you seen how they can act towards one another? Shade honey, the shade! Just because they found one another based on finances, doesn’t mean they’re a good fit. Again, as someone who grew up in a trailer I am far from fancy BUT who do you think my ride or die BFF is? A girl whose life is privileged, has a law degree and just dropped a ton on Selena’s MAC collection. Our tax returns are polar opposites, but we have been besties for almost two decades now. While she does have more well-off friends today, we can still count on one another when life gets too hard to handle.
Proximity allows us an easy out when we first embark on making friends as kids, then our interests take over as we hit adolescence but as we come into adulthood it seems like our finances hold a lot of weight in our social circles. Be it a conscious decision or not, it’s an interesting idea to think about the next time you’re hanging out with your girls. But at the same time, while we may lean more towards those who can shop at the same stores, be it Gucci or The Dollar Tree, your financial situation isn’t what makes a true friendship last.
