Smelling like sweat after sex is all well and good, but coming to a chick's house reeking of man stank is unacceptable. I don't think it's being high maintenance to

demand a man scrub his genitals before entering someone else's. If you're a dude who just can't be bothered to wash, you may as well stick to masturbating. Ain't nobody got

time for your nasty ass. 

This should go without saying. Yet, why then, do so many men seem to have disgusting breath during sexy times? I don't have an answer to this question. I don't

want an answer. I don't even want to have to ask the damn question. Get your shit together boys and BRUSH. YO. TEETH.

Also, it never hurts to rinse out

with mouthwash a few times after brushing. Just saying.

A dude always seems fine with asking the chick he's screwing to manage the forest downstairs. Well men, sex is a 2-way street. In 2016, it's just rude for a

guy to let his pubes look like miracle grow has been seeded all over them. I'm not saying you have to go wax the damn thing (though I do believe

all men should undergo the pain that is hair removal at least once in their lives). But at least tidy up and trim that forest so a chick blowing you

doesn't have to feel like Helen Keller as she struggles to find the base of your shaft amidst the throng of pubes. 

You don't need to share your opinion on schools of philosophy (though that could be super interesting). But just showing up and being like "Let's bang" is usually not the

way to go. Occasionally, she and you just want to fuck like rabbits and in that circumstance, go for it! But for the other 99% of circumstances, try having some

civil discourse before engaging in coitus. 

Wait a second, I thought the whole point of fucking was coming with another person instead of all by my lonesome. 

Sure. But she's not like you dude. She's not gonna

hit that big O in 2.8 seconds. Jacking off before a potential hookup is a great way to get excited/help yourself last longer during the actual intercourse. There are a lot

of things a man can do wrong. Cumming in milliseconds is near the top of that list. 

Vaginas are great, but so many guys race towards them as if their lives depended on it. Guess what! The female body has many erogenous zones; try exploring a few of

them before heading down south. Once you do arrive at the holy grail, don't just stick the dick in. God gave humans tongues for two reasons: speaking and oral sex. 

Dull sex sucks. When a guy just keeps doing the same thing, he proves he's basically a virgin with absolutely no sexual prowess. Bodies belong to human beings, not machines.

You can't just hit a single switch and think, "I'm so macho! Watch me fuck." Instead, guys need to be bold and dare to change the game. Get super gentle

and slow. Get super rough and fast. Switch positions. Trade off being in control. There are literally thousands of sex positions. There are so many paths to the best orgasm

ever. So stop doing the exact same thing and dare to be different. 

Don't be that jerk who just lets the lady fend for herself after sex. If you've left some manjuice on her, be a gent and grab her a towel. Dispose

of the condom in a trash can; don't just fling it on the floor. Everybody just wants to lay down after. I get it. But spend 30 seconds cleaning up

and then get back to relaxing. You have the energy. Just do it.

You don't need to share your dreams if you don't want to. You don't need to talk about your traumatized childhood if you don't want to. But don't just be

silent. Y'all just had sex. Great. Is the dude staying over? Do you want to shower? You have mouths that you hopefully just used during sex. Now use them to

speak. 

The worst thing a guy can do is just be super awkward about the fact that y'all just had sex. What is it about that post-sex moment where guys seemingly

lose all ability to act like a functioning human? Is the secret to a man's coherence in his semen? It's sex. Don't be such a weirdo about it!