What you think is messy now is nothing compared to the wrath of what your child will bring to your home. It doesn't matter how many times you clean up

the toys on the floor, they will inevitably find their way back. And they'll bring socks, food crumbs and other random household objects with them. Don't bother putting a stylish

area rug on your floor, because it will quickly get covered with every object and substance in existence!

No more are the days of carrying a wallet, keys and a cell phone. Once you've got a baby, your bag will also hold bottles, wipes, snacks and books. And

this is for your everyday handbag. Your diaper bag is sure to have even more goodies like extra clothes and a grocery bag for dirty diapers. Don't be surprised if

you find crushed up Cheerios or food wrappers at the bottom of either bag.

When you end up covered in sticky food, dirt and bodily fluids, what's the point of wearing nice clothes? Most moms eventually give up trying to be stylish and have

a couple pairs of yoga pants on rotation. Comfy sneakers and stained tees are also part of the daily mom look. And yes, even if you don't actually do yoga,

you'll be dressed like you're on your way to try downward dog position.

You seriously have no idea how much there is to say about poop until it's part of your daily routine. You'll talk to your mom friends about the color of

poop, the consistency of poop and whether or not you've had the pleasure of getting projectile pooped on. 

Everything you've heard about parents never sleeping is true. Well, ok, maybe parents sleep a little. But what most people call "well rested" is not the same for parents. If

you sleep for more than 3 hours in any given night, you're lucky! And if you manage to get 5 or more, you feel refreshed and alive in the morning!

Well, not really, but you'll take what you can get. 

In the era of the selfie, moms everywhere have mastered the version that includes their wee ones. There's now the "usie," which has invaded the phones of proud moms who

share their snaps on social media. Everything your child does is worthy of a snap. Their morning smile, the adorable new onesie they're wearing, every small moment gets documented in

photographic form. 

In addition to being tired all the time, you're also utterly exhausted. You'll find yourself driving past your exit on the freeway, putting the ketchup bottle in the medicine cabinet,

and leaving your keys in the front door lock. The wear and tear your child puts you through you will make you physically, mentally and emotionally drained, but you'll learn

how to survive as a "mombie."

You might as well set up a play area in the bathroom, because you'll have an audience every time you go. And don't think for one second that when you

go #2, your kids will be disgusted and leave. Nope. They'll probably ask to see it and might even try to peek between your legs as you go.

Those long, uninterrupted showers you love? Yeah, you can kiss those goodbye once baby comes along. Then you're lucky to get five minutes of time in the shower that doesn't

involve a little one banging on the door or shouting your name. 

After cleaning, feeding, bathing and caring for your baby, there's little time left to care for yourself. This includes grooming. You'll shower when you can, wash your hair if you

find time, and your legs will probably go unshaven for weeks. It's not that you don't care how you look. It's that by the time you actually have a few

minutes to take care of yourself, you're way too tired to give AF and you go to bed instead.