So, this Thanksgiving, you’re bringing “the one” over for dinner. Your fam will be blind to the chemistry brewing between you and your new boo, but since when does their

opinion matter anyway?

Even if ya’ll don’t make it to Christmas, that’s your business, not your Aunt and ‘em’s. 

You see the spread of food on the table as you walk in, and spot an unfamiliar dish, foreign to your grandmother’s kitchen platters. Who dun it? You ask the

matriarch of the family, but she doesn’t seem to know either.

Do your self a favor and skip over it for the sake of not having a case of

the bubble guts in the wee hours of the night.

Your great-uncle has become accustomed to saying his prolonged prayer, probably under the impression that it will increase his odds of entering heaven despite his multiple affairs and illegimate children

over the years.

 Do yourself a solid and slip the flats on right before it’s time to grub.

Your granny told you to be at dinner by 3 pm, but you won’t be leaving your house until 4 pm, because you are not trying to be sitting up

under folk while waiting for the food.

They began cooking two days before Thanksgiving, and still can’t get it together on time.

Okay, so your elders have some very controversial opinions about things like black on black violence and respectability politics, but don’t get hung up on that.

You have bigger fish

to fry, and you can’t really teach an old dog new tricks.

If she ain’t using “pinches” and “splashes” of ingredients in her famous sweet potato pies and mac and cheese, then I’on want it!

Don’t get it twisted, every family has an undercover cousin Faith who’s is just waiting to pounce on your man.

Tell that heaux to keep her paws to herself.

Nothing stirs your soul more than having one of your self-righteous cousins get on your kids about running in and out of the house.

So what your kids pulled the

cat’s tail and knocked over your granny’s trash can? No one can call them BeBe kids but you!

It’s time for you to transform into the Mayweather of roast sessions because you’re gonna have to come to Thanksgiving dinner ready to battle.

Twitter is full of useful Thanksgiving

Clapback memes, so please use them to your heart’s desire! You don’t want to be left stranded without any shade to throw. Dig deep, I’m sure you have a ton

of useful info.

Despite you having the nerve to combat the passive aggressiveness and pettiness with your clever and witty clapbacks, your Granny still ain’t here for none of that.

Get out of

there as soon as you get your to-go plate, and hit those skreets.