Don't judge too hard -- the guy who wrote this probably speaks better English than you do Mandarin.
Why is this always true? Scientists, please explain.
This actually isn't a terrible bit of wisdom, but the phrasing will have anyone over the age of 13 giggling.
Exactly what you want to read at the dinner table.
"You don messed up" — this same cookie
Confucius was well known for his use of the word "crazy".
Don't act like Popeye wasn't chowing down on protein when the cameras turned off.
Actually a great way to demand a second cookie from the restaurant.
Everyone's worried about AI becoming sentient; no one's paying attention to the cookies.
Cookie's trying to steal your girl.
*looks over shoulder*
*asks friend to walk us home*
But too much self pleasure will make you go blind, kids.
WTF?
*asks friend to check out our entire house and also probably sleep over too please*
This fly's directly in the face of our favorite cookie's advice. Make up your mind, cookies.
Dear God, somebody get this man some medicine for that burn.
This feels like sponsored content...
Genuinely not sure what's going on here...
Well played, cookie, well played.
What happens if all those situations happen at the same time?
Technically speaking, that could be your waiter...
A little computer humor for ya.
We don't remember that line from the Alanis Morissette song...
This is weirdly cute, actually. And now we want to cuddle a cookie.
This is as specific as it is cruel.
Someone needs to teach the cookie that you can't respond to your own line. That's not how it works.
Possible nod to 'Star Wars' in this one...
Basically it's a "draw again" card, in cookie form.
Looks like someone eats too much Chinese take-out...
BUT ON WHAT DAY?!? Kind of leaving out a key piece of information there...
Not a fortune, just a fact.
Eat enough take-out Chinese and this will eventually happen to you.
Some creepy guy totally got to second base because this fell into his date's lap.
Actually good advice, and you'll totally freak out whoever you're fighting with.
Yes! Yes, yes... wait no. WTF NO!
This is why science exists.
Hey, my mom isn't "no one"!
How many of these promotional fortune cookies are out there?!
Is this fortune actually calling someone a duty? Or are they just missing the "r" after "you"? I hope it's the latter.
But what if I don't want to learn Chinese?! If I did, I probably wouldn't be eating at Panda Express.
Talk about stating the obvious.
HAHAHA. What a funny fortune! BUT, aren't these things supposed to give some sort of advice? Where's the advice?
Wait...another one about my literacy? Tell me something I don't know, cookies!
Lol. This is so punny. I love it!
This one is oddly specific. Like, concerningly specific. Maybe cookie fortunes really can tell the future!
It's probably not the best idea to base your life choices on little slips of paper hiding in cheap cookies. And, hopefully, you already knew that.
Fortune cookies are fun, of course, and if you're having trouble picking numbers for the lottery, they can come in real handy.
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