A solid tip! If you don't want your man to remarry when/if you die, make sure he's held responsible for your death.

Honestly, just don't ever play "fuck/marry/kill." That game always ends in drama. 

If this Instagram picture doesn't make you want to get pregnant and cook food naked, I don't know what picture would!

Truth! People who wear Apple watches drive me crazy. They think they're so cool because they dropped hundreds of dollars to squint at their watch in order to read shit off

it. Squinting is what causes wrinkles. 

Chicken hot pies are the answer to every question! They're freaking delicious and yet I rarely ever hear about people eating them. Why is this? 

Oh, how I'd love to be a mother to a little one and look this amazing in a swimsuit. 

I've always heard the "myth" that women typically poop when they're giving birth...but now I know that rumor is indeed true. Yikes. Thanks for the warning, Chrissy.

Chrissy's sarcasm is hard to detect but if you're a true fan you'll be able to hear it in this tweet. 

What she's really saying is that it's incredibly messed

up for guys to comment on pictures saying, "Oh...the chick on the left is way hotter than the chick on the right." And I agree. 

Chrissy Teigen taught me that when one door closes another opens and that's important advice. 

Put some cucumbers in your water, your vodka, or just hold some in your hands and you'll instantly feel classier and like you're relaxing in a high-end spa. 

Do you and your man look this good in bed? 

Answer: No.

Chrissy has this way of tweeting/saying what we've all thought...at least once in our lives. If you haven't looked at a whale and thought, "Damn...what a majestic creature" odds are

you've never looked at a whale hard enough. Turn on the History Channel, please. 

If your man won't take off your jewelry, leave him! What kind of guy won't lend a helping hand like that?! A Lame-O. 

But seriously, there's nothing more annoying than seeing a guy struggle to fit his giant ass suitcase in the overhead bin. What does he have in that suitcase and why was

he too cheap to check it? Seems suspicious. 

When she taught us, ladies, the importance of "keeping them wanting more." And by them, she meant our men. I hear you loud and clear! 

Chrissy wears her sexuality on her sleeve. But not in a slutty way. She's just confident and she has no problem showing that confidence off. I respect that. Slay, queen. 

HAHA. Can I make this my hobby? 

How can you tell if someone's vegan? They'll say it...like a MILLION times. 

When she let dad carry the baby because, contrary to popular belief, mom doesn't always have to be on baby duty!

No really, don't google "cream pies." 

Chrissy is a well-known celebrity but she still knows that Beyonce is queen and should be respected and admired...always. 

HAHAHA. Even though emojis are just faces, they sure seem loud as hell sometimes.

Seriously, who doesn't love it? Why bother making stuffing from scratch when you can have Stove Top after 3 minutes of microwave time and it's amazing?

In contrast to Stove Top, turkey is pretty shitty. I know turkey is like a Thanksgiving ritual but I don't get it. I'm not saying turkey is bad, but it doesn't

taste like anything to me so, like Chrissy, I'm confused on the obsession. 

Only true friends will like your pictures. And only best friends will leave comments. 

If it's not hurting the baby belly, why does it really matter if something's tight? Mommy bloggers love to bitch about celebs wearing tight clothes but like, let these celebs live

and stay stylish as long as they can. Okurr. 

It's important for people to not hold you responsible for the things you say. The best way to do that? Chrissy just said it above. 

Honestly, I don't think any newsworthy sites should tag outside people because then the "public" attacks those people and the "public" is vicious. 

Chrissy has taught us the importance of #balance. Staying healthy doesn't mean depriving yourself of amazing, greasy, and horribly bad for your body food. Moderation is key. 

When someone asked how people eat bacon, and Chrissy said this: "peacefully, ideally." Is there any other way? 

Life Hack: If you're going to eat ranch, it needs to be a packet of Buttermilk Hidden Valley.

I mean, it's only proper you share your number if it's a BIG number. If you've only gained 10 pounds during your pregnancy, kindly shut your mouth forever. 

There's no wrong time to work on your beauty! Chrissy doesn't give a flying shit if people judge her. She's going to do her. Always.

Most celebs get caught in the life of excess when they get rich, but not our girl, Chrissy. Determined not to let those limes go to waste, Chrissy ended up

baking every lime dessert known to man.

There's nothing better than those moments when Chrissy shines a light on the lack of diversity in the media. 

When Donald Trump blocked Chrissy for saying, "lol no one likes you."

I'm honestly surprised when anyone makes spelling errors anymore. SO MUCH is corrected via autocorrect. So, why choose to be seen as illiterate? Why? 

Another example of Chrissy telling her followers to, "EAT YOUR HEART OUT." I approve of these messages.

Someone tweeted to Chrissy, "And who are you? A nobody." and this was here response. Seriously though, the best way to get revenge is to sign your enemies up for

unwanted email lists and spam.

And finally, when Chrissy shared the most relatable quote ever. How many of us really listen to what people tell us? I mean, no offense but sometimes our lives are just too

important to really focus on other people's bullshit. Sorry, not sorry.