You tell your friends that he's "perfect." Hmmm. While we’re believers that someone can be a perfect fit for another individual, there’s not one human being on planet earth who doesn’t have

flaws. 

Thing is, a narcissist will want you to think that way, for as long as possible. They’ll always be impeccably dressed and groomed. They’ll know just what to say and

do. They’ll make you wonder where they’ve been hiding all this time. 

Usually, a narcissist can pull this off because you’re so enamored that you haven’t done anything to set

them off...yet. Oh, but let that first argument happen or do something that they don’t like…you’ll see another side of them. 

There is a proverb that says, charm is deceitful. In many ways, it can be. A charming person is someone with all of the charisma and allure in the world! They

usually are like faucets, though. Meaning, they can turn it on and off at the drop of a dime. They turn it on to get what they want from you

and they turn it off when they’re done with you. 

Narcissists have the reputation for being the ultimate seducers. One of the ways it shows up the most is before and

after sex. You know, telling you all of the right things beforehand. But, going radio silent or having somewhere to go after.

We don’t mean that they violate your boundaries in the sense that they’re abusive people (although a lot of physical, emotional and sexual abusers do have narcissistic traits). We’re saying

that they don’t really take your boundaries seriously; even the “surface” ones. 

You both talk about what you’re going to do next weekend. They mention a horror flick and you

say you’d rather go to a concert. They pick you up and drive right to the theater, sometimes tickets already in hand, talking about how much fun you’ll have. They

do this, not because they are spontaneous but because narcissists are self-absorbed. Your “no” means nothing to them if it gets in the way of what they want.

This point is pretty close to the one we just made. Manipulators are controllers. They will say all sorts of things to get you to do what will benefit them.

That could range from buying you something to wear, just so they can show you off to their friends, to getting you to run all their errands. 

Another telltale sign of

manipulative behavior is them doing something wrong and you ending up being the one to apologize. Why? Because narcissists are also usually big-time deflectors. No matter what they did, they will

find a spin to put on it so that you stop thinking about their offense and start focusing more on what they “claim” you did wrong.

Commitment-phobes are poster children for narcissism! You can’t really be all caught up in yourself and share with someone else, so…there ya go. Not only are they not the best

at being—and staying—in a relationship. Narcissists are pretty notorious for making dates at the last-minute, breaking dates at the last minute, not being very reliable, not respecting anyone’s time and being

more interested in instant gratification than anything long-term. 

If the person you’re seeing shows signs of any of this, don’t say we (and your gut) didn’t warn you. If you

decide to stick around, strap up. No doubt you’re in for a ride. The emotionally-nauseating kind.