If you don’t have map, you won’t know where you’re going. A woman named Gail Masondo once said that. She’s right. Sometimes we end up with the guy we’re not

really attracted to, who’s not really relationship material, who is selfish or arrogant as all get out simply because we didn’t think about exactly what we wanted in the first

place. No one is saying to be unrealistic (which would include putting 100 things or “He needs to be just like Channing Tatum” on your list). But do think about

what you really need to be happy in a relationship. Jot it all down. Don’t compromise. It’ll make the initial dating and weeding out process so much easier.

How do you know you’re not over your ex? A really obvious sign (that most of us ignore) is that we compare every other guy to him. Look, it’s not

fair to you or the next dude to be like “I want someone just like my ex. Only he won’t be a jerk or won’t cheat on me.” There is

no one just like your ex but your ex and you’re not with him anymore---probably for good reasons. If emotionally your past is what you still fantasize about, it’s not time to

get on with your future. Heal first. For everyone’s sake.

We all know a girl who can’t seem to ever be alone. She’s on a date every weekend, and if she can’t find someone to go out with, she’s on

a dating app looking for the next victim---sorry, guy. You know what they say “If you can’t spend time alone, why would anyone else wanna spend time with you?” When’s the

last time you took yourself to a movie? It’s not lame. It’s pretty empowering if you actually try it. TRY IT.

It’s almost said so much that we forget what it means. What is self-love anyway? You pamper yourself. You’re not jealous of other people. You take good care of your

health. You forgive yourself when you make mistakes. You’re not trying to look like or be someone you’re not. You strive to be positive. You choose good friends. You set

goals. These are just a few things to think about. A woman who loves herself is a woman who has the right kind of love to give.

OK, so why do you want to get in a relationship again? Answers like “Because all of my friends are in one” or “Because I’m tired of being alone” or

“I don’t feel good about myself when I’m not in a relationship”---all of these are sucky answers. Get into a relationship when you can honestly say “This guy is awesome.

We have a good time, he respects me, I learn from him and I can see us having a great future together.” Until then, casually date but don’t put pressure on

yourself. The best things happen naturally, and usually unexpectedly.

A woman whose life is so amazing that she barely has time to think about a relationship? She’s the kind of woman who has men beating her door down! A

relationship is just one piece of the pie in anyone’s world. There’s also work, family, friends and personal projects to focus on. Being in a relationship is cool, but don’t

make it be all that you care about. Ironically, when you get to this place? You’ll actually be ready for one!