It doesn't have to be aggressive when you say "no" to any given opportunity. In fact, saying "no" can be your gateway action into becoming more assertive, since it's a 'negative space

act' versus one that's more active. If someone asks something of you that you're not obligated to do, nor do you desire to do it, it's okay to say "no." 

Worried that you'll be perceived as being "mean" by others? You're not. This is about setting boundaries but doing so with calm assurance. 

Worried someone will think you're bluffing, and won't stop

asking? Use the 'broken record' technique and repeat your "no" response, and stick to it. Firm. Kind. Calm. 

It may sounds simple, but if there's something in life that you want but aren't getting, don't be afraid to ask. No need to beat around the bush and preface

it with, "I was wondering if maybe you could consider..." or being too harsh by demanding, "do this now!" How about the happy medium of asking politely, and with conviction?

A simple, "will you please ____?" is enough. No need to put yourself down or minimize the importance of your ask. Simply, ask.

As long as it's reasonable and fair,

people should have not problem complying with your request posed as a question. If, however, you're met with a "no" understand that it's not a reflection of you, but rather,

the other person's needs or lack-thereof. 

Focus on the value not the action. This is the idea behind "symbolic virtue." When you ask your boo to do the dishes, and he ignores your request, at the end

of the day, are you more upset about the dishes, or the fact that you weren't heard? It's important to know and communicate the symbolic value of what your ask

is, so the person you're asking can connect with the request on a deeper level.

For example, next time you ask him to do the dishes say, "Hey, after the

long day I've had, I would feel so appreciative and supported by you doing the dishes tonight."

This way, the focus is on the task, and what the task would

communicate in a positive way, rather than what not doing the task says about his entire personality. This way, he's capable of making changes and compounding them, rather than settle into

the 'lazy man' mold that he doesn't think he can escape.