It turns out, getting healthy makes you gassy. Certain vegetables are harder to digest which causes gas buildup. It has to escape

and it does so through tooting. If you start out slow and build up a tolerance to them you won't have as many problems. 

Looks like you might have a lactose allergy. No worries, all you need ot do is stop eating dairy. It

will be painful but there are lots of other foods you can fall in one-sided love with. 

You need to fit lunch into a 3 minute window between work meetings. This means you inhale your food...along with some air. This air follows the same one-way path your food

does, and it has soaked up a bunch of the scents wafting off the half-digested foods trapped inside you. 

You are drinking too many carbonated drinks. All of the bubbles are building up inside of you and they want to find a way out. There's only 2 options, and

for some reasons they prefer the more embarrassing off ramp. 

When you get nervous, your hormones can go into overdrive and cause acid buildup which leads to loud butt trumpets. This is you body's lame-ass response to stress. 

If you travel on planes on the regular, then the change in altitude might be causing you to let loose

more often. The pressure fluctuation does a triple whammy on your tummy. 

For some people, the sugars present in carbs like bread are hard for the body to break down, which leads to a build up in intestinal acid and

gas. The farts will commence. It will be painful but you might need to say adios to pasta and toast.