Sounds funny right? Wrong. Can't you just imagine him having one two many pumpkin spiced rums and lighting the whole Thanksgiving table on fire by accidentally knocking over a lit

candle with his plushy tail?

All of that time spent putting out the table fire meant you forgot to check the turkey. Now you've got 2 separate house fires and this is just the start of

the night.

Putting out the turkey took your mind off the rest of the dinner. Too bad you didn't check that stuffing with a meat thermometer before serving it. This year, no one

is getting the luxury of a food coma.

Uh-oh. All those distractions made you forget to watch out for Grandma. She found the liquor cabinet and has downed half a bottle of her one vice: peppermint schnapps. Good thing

you caught her before she confused your husband for an actual turkey and tried to nibble his leg. 

Aunt Polly ALWAYS gets to bring dessert. Unfortunately, you forgot to nix her annual attempts to bring a dirty limerick cake to the party. Don't let Nan see what the

frosting spells. 

Dude's been in a screamo phase for the last 2 years. You thought he'd read the room and choose one of the Peanuts tunes. Nope, he's playing his favorite artist instead. 

He just got back from his first semester at college and he's now a vegan. So, yeah...obviously he will have thoughts about the turkey. 

You felt bad that Old Mr. Jenkins was alone for the holidays so you said he could come over. Now you're regretting it: turns out he wasn't actually living alone—he

thinks the mannequin he found on the side of the road is his date.

Somehow everyone made it through dinner and drinks without bringing up politics. You feel like it's safe to finish the night off with a family game. Just...no. Monopoly is a

relationship-ender. Avoid, avoid, avoid. 

Oops, you left the burners going. The house has slowly been filling with gas for the last 2.5 hours. So that's why everyone seems to be slowly drifting off into a

strange slumber....