Everyone could have flown giant eagles to the big eye in the sky. I guess Gandalf knew Frodo had a Hero’s Journey to complete. 

Who put the poster back? There’s obviously a phantom living inside the walls of the prison. Totally adds up. 

Where did the ice for his sculptures come from? He doesn’t have a fairy godmother, does he?

The park layout makes no sense and seems to warp to whatever is needed at that point in the plot. Which is fine. Because dinosaurs. 

The reboot where Daniel is evil makes total sense now, because he won by cheating in the original movie. His kick was an illegal move. What an ass. 

Why, exactly, could we upload a virus to alien technology? It seems kind of odd that a species from a completely different planet would be Apple compatible. 

Look, they have a throwaway line about time turners being destroyed, but come on. You just know there’s one out there somewhere, in a museum, maybe. Hermione would be all

over that.

Why did the Empire let that escape pod, uh, escape? Yeah, the droids had to live, but come on. These people blow up planets, but they ignore a pod. Nu-uh. 

That alien is creepy and dumb. Why, you ask? Well, he’s creepy because look at him and he’s dumb because he could have just levitated himself right back onto his

ship. 

This movie is a frame-by-frame plot hole but one of the worst offenders is the fact that Mr. Freeze—a being that needs to keep cold to not die—smokes a cigar. 

Indy didn’t need to be there at all. Nazi faces would have melted exactly the same no matter what. 

One, being able to turn back time via spinning the Earth backwards is ridiculous, even for an early era superhero flick. Two, how does Superman know he has this ability?

A Yoda to train him, he does not have.

Ewoks being secretly crafty teddy bears is one thing. Hard to swallow, but doable. The papyrus-thin armor on those stormtroopers, though? Ridonkulous. 

It would be a much easier task to train astronauts how to drill, right? Or am I completely underestimating the skills required?

Scar secretly wanted to fail, didn’t he? Otherwise, he would have killed Simba instead of telling him to run away. One murder a day is your cutoff?

They fly away in a car. They. Fly. Away. In. A. Car. This is secretly an Afternoon Special about not doing drugs, isn’t it?

The Beast was a straight up child when he was cursed. What little boy isn’t a bitch when a literal witch comes knocking?

Are parents not horrified that random presents appear in their homes every year? Eh, it seem benevolent. Until someone (Santa) is MURDERED.

Anakin built one of the droids famous for being a through line of the franchise. So, why doesn’t Vader remember? It couldn’t be because things were being made up as

they went, right?

The only person the giant couldn’t save is Hogarth—because he gets exposed to a radiation-bathed bolt at the end of the film. Bye bye, Hogarth. 

Buzz doesn’t think he’s a toy. Except, he’s kidding himself, because he does what all toys do when confronted with a human and freezes. What a faker. 

Don’t feed ‘em after midnight. Got it. But, uh, isn’t it going to be midnight in different parts of the world at different times? I’m sure the ancient wizards who

came up with this rule accounted for that. 

Do I need to go into detail here? Jack. Door. Kate Winslet, move over.

During the God’s name puzzle, Indy catches himself on floor letters that should have fallen away. Talk about an act of God. 

Why doesn’t Sandman’s locket turn to sand when everything else he owns does? The power of love? Lame. 

Apparently, this T-Rex can tiptoe. Why else would it so easily be able to quietly get around the visitor’s center?

This movie appears to take place over the course of, like, two days. How can Luke train as much as he does in that short period of time? Answer: he

can’t. 

If the water in Gotham is being vaporized, wouldn’t the water in people be vaporized too? This is why writers aren’t scientists. 

How come no one notices Peter Pettigrew is, like, sitting in Ron’s lap for 85% of the movie, when looking at the Marauder’s Map? 

Is Snape such a creeper that he has somehow co-opted Lily’s own personal POV. He has memories that only she would have. Makes for a good scene, I guess. 

Doctor Octopus has no idea that Peter Parker is Spider-Man, yet, when he’s trying to capture the kid he definitely acts like Peter isn’t just a normal human. I mean,

he throws a friggin’ car at him. 

Why do Yoda and Ben hide Luke with his family? Leia gets adopted by randos, which makes waaaay more sense. 

Why does Luke have the last name Skywalker, instead of Lars? Isn’t it super obvious whose son he is?

Leia totally could have pulled off saving Han. So, then what would have happened to the droids and humans left behind as part of the plan? I guess they’re expendable? 

If pirates sustain injuries they got while immortal, like Barbossa does, why don’t they ALL die, including Jack? Because franchise, I guess.  

Why can’t the dinosaur get over the wooden gate? That’s a real case of butter toes you got there, Mr. Scales. 

You’d think these aliens would have done their research before coming to Earth. Maybe they thought they could ignore the fact that Earth is covered in the thing they’re allergic

to.

That box is so easy to open, you’d think the demons inside would WANT people to come visit. I guess it gets bored in that pain/pleasure dimension. (Don’t lie—you totally

watched this as a kid.)

Why is this new Terminator able to show up if his skin is made up of melty metal alloy? Eh, who cares. Shoot people, please.