Being selfish has been as taboo as being an atheist in a black family. The truth of the matter though, is that we’re the only ones living our lives. And

that’s one life at that! 

Now, we're not advocating for you to get all savage on us, but we're saying that you are the one you have been waiting for.

So it’s time to make decisions for yourself and not for anyone outside of you. 

That’s about as gangsta as it gets.

With the age of the internet upon us, we have somehow dimension-hopped into this space and time where the super-trolls exist. They’ve existed in the past, but not on this

level. They’re out here creeping and crawling and hating on the next without rhyme, sense, or reason.

So, let’s adapt. Don’t censor yourself for the sake of how you might

think someone will respond to you, online or off. You’re the sh*t, so be unapologetically you.

Are you that family member that receives cash app requests for money from your cuz who still lives with your grandma? Or the friend who takes on everyone’s problems, yet

isn’t given the time of day to vent also?

Well, my friend, it’s time for you to reject that call when you see it coming. Deny that request for money.

Say, “no” to that event if you’re seriously burnt out. 

No, No, no! Get used to it. Please, for the sake of you.

Just listen to yourself, and keep it trill.

Quality time is waaay different than just regular, plain old spending time. Quality time means putting your phone down. It means listening to what the other has to say. It

even means that they reciprocate that same action! By golly, it’s actually pretty amazing. Who would have thought?

Nurturing those relationships with the people you love are just as important

as other acts of self-care. Deepening your bonds with loved ones will most definitely contribute to your no-f*cks-given attitude.

Okay, so eating ice cream every day is horrible for you. Like incredibly horrible. So, don’t do that at all. But ice cream after a long day of bull sh*t

is perfectly okay! Indulge!

Please, do yourself a favor and pull off a complete sweep of your timeline, your news feed, and your Snap stories. There’s a point to this, we promise!

Everyone doesn’t

deserve your time and attention, and if you have some hating a** folks who complain constantly via social media, then you don’t want that to even see the light of

(your) day.

Do a clean sweep, and you’ll thank us later.

This one may be a hard pill to swallow, but follow us here. Just because someone shares the same blood as you means diddly-squat. 

You are not now, nor have

you ever been, forever connected and indebted to them, ESPECIALLY if they are insanely toxic and resemble the life form of leaches.

We're not trying to turn up on

fam, but family connections are meant to uplift and support you. Not every relationship with a family member will be perfect, but you don’t have to deal with a relative

simply because ya’ll have the same grandma or mama. If they can’t get on board the you-train, bump ‘em!

Has your ex lost his or her mind? Have your cousins come out the woodwork begging you for this and that?

Change your number. Everyone that you want to have

your number, will not have a problem updating your contact info in their phones.

When the day has been extraordinarily awful, Netflix is a good remedy. There to comfort you when all else has failed. It’s okay, this is a #NoJudgement zone. Go ahead

and binge watch that show you’ve been stalling to watch but anxious to turn on.

You deserve it.

We feel like there may be lots of room left for misinterpretation here. Let’s just say, that certain situations call for certain reactions. As long as the inner-you is rooting

you on and encouraging to do what obviously needs to be done, then you should listen and follow your heart.

If your evening ritual includes bubble baths, champagne, and a

Cam’ron-colored pink bathrobe, by all means, continue. If your heart desires to wear faux diamonds and a fur to the family function, do you. You got it!

Just because this guide is here to help you avoid the pitfalls of trolls and deal with the effects of trauma, doesn’t mean we’re encouraging you to hate on a

hater.

All hate is mad overrated, and any energy put towards a hater, racist, homophobic, or sexist, individual is wasted energy, my dear.

Don’t fall for the foolishness. Don't fall

for the bait. This is self-care 101.