You know Schumer's Barbie takes UberX every night she drinks... so basically, every night. 

Barbie's downstairs is always PERFECTLY hairless. Any writer needs to ask, "Why is she so hairless?" You know Schumer's gonna come up with some edgy fucked-up answer that will leave

everyone in stitches. 

Baribe is gonna be horny and she's not gonna hold back. If she wants sex, she'll get sex. And in 2016, the way to get sex quickly, short of prostitution,

is using apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc. Which men will Barbie swipe left on?

Finally! The world deserves/needs to witness Barbie the morning after a shitty hookup, hungerover AF. 

In the toy world, Ken is a eunuch. In Schumer's Barbie world, Ken will have a huge schlong. You know it's true. 

Because like it happens sometimes. Don't judge!!!

Moviegoers deserve to see a Barbie-fied version of JLaw. Take note Schumer.

Schumer is all about body positivity. There's no way she's gonna write a movie about a Barbie that is solely praised for her impossible proportions. 

Barbie just seems like the type of girl who drinks way too much at weddings. Right? Like she's an incredible friend and everybody loves her, but at weddings, she basically

downs white wine like a sailor on leave, or whatever the expression is. 

...and she will win! Schumer was a vocal supporter of Hillary Clinton during the campaign and will hopefully incorporate some of her smart political humor into the film. A Barbie's true

place is in her dream house, which of course, is the White House!