Being car-less, doesn’t mean you have to miss out on Thirsty Thursday’s or Forbidden Fruit Friday’s.

By any means necessary, you will get to the club and shake that ass

all night. Who cares if you and your friends don’t have a whip? That just means ya’ll can sip on Henny to your heart’s desire and liver’s dismay.

It doesn’t matter if you picked up Cherry, Strawberry, or Fruit Punch flavored Kool-Aid, you weren’t paying attention because at the end of the day it’s all red Kool-Aid.

Tons

of sugar and tons of red drink mix later, and you have a drink for every meal of the day courtesy of the Kool-Aid Man. 

Despite you not being the only kid whose old lady walked out the house with her scarf tied on so tight that later on that day she had scarf-lines on

her forehead, you were still low key embarrassed.

But hey, Mom Dukes made sure you got to school on time and with a full stomach, so chill.

You won’t let subsidized housing get in your way from letting you stunt on all your haters by donning that charcoal-colored Charger.

So what if you can’t afford full-priced

rent! What matters more to you is that everyone sees you going 2 miles per hour in your used Dodge vehicle that went for twenty thousand something dollars.

It’s freezing cold, but you don't dare turn on the heat because there are other ways of staying warm without the extra bill.

From blankets galore to the most utilized

oven, your resourcefulness will keep you comfortable until you just can no longer stand it.

Your buddies are begging you to go see that new superhero flick, but why in the hell would you do that when your plug just hipped you to that movie

for the low-low?

Who cares if the entire screen is cut off for about 20 minutes of the movie, you get the gist of the movie plot and that’s all

that matters.

You wouldn’t dare throw away that glass jelly jar once you’ve made the last peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the last bit of fruit preserves. Peel that sticker, wash

that mug, and you’ve got yourself a new cup. Tada! 

It’s tax season time and you and your homie have already discussed the logistics of you adding their seeds onto your income taxes. It’s been a trying year, and they

are all on board for you pocketing a little more change (that you’ll pass them a little of for their good faith in you) because it strategically made more sense

for the overall good.

Teamwork is awesome, that’s all we have to say.

Your granny blames your sugar addiction on her Mississippian in-laws (while you blame it on the government), but nonetheless, you can’t seem to reserve it just for sweetening your favorite

drink.

You have to add it to your greens and grits, as well. Your white friends don’t quite get it, but friends, schmiends! Your journey to a diabetic coma won’t

slow you down, so why would anyone’s opinion?

From the time you were a kid, you wouldn’t dare throw that little piece of soap away when it could add up to an entire new bar of soap. You’re

way smarter than that.