It's a good thing you work just up the road from the trailer park, because you wouldn't get very far in a pickup truck without wheels. Your cozy little home, however, can

follow the wind wherever it blows. And that has been the same spot for most of your life.

All your friends and family members should be impressed by your burping abilities. But the truth is, they often challenge you to burping competitions to see who can belch the

loudest, longest and smelliest. You love burping your name as you announce your victory.

The only six pack you've heard of is the kind you drink. And it goes great with a big ol' bucket of KFC. That's what you call a gourmet meal.

And you only splurge on special occasions like your wedding anniversary.

Just like you and your sweetie met through family, so did your parents. In fact, most of you are blood relatives. Your dad is also your uncle, and your grandma

is also your sister. Or your first cousin twice removed. Something like that. 

You know which body parts go where when it's time for hanky panky, but you're a bit confused about what all the parts are called. Even with all the knowledge

you have about tractors, trucks and lawnmowers, you still don't know how a Volvo is different from a vulva. 

You can never have too much beer. And if your refrigerator is empty, you make sure that your beer refrigerator is fully stocked. Sometimes, all that's in either refrigerator is

Heineken and Bud Light. And maybe a can or two of beans.

Since you never finished high school, spelling is not one of your strengths. But luckily, your name is monogrammed on every belt buckle in your collection. All you've gotta do

is look down and figure out the letters. 

After a late night of drinking and running from the cops, there's nothing better than a hot meal from the Waffle House. You're raising your credit score with that Waffle

House credit card too. In fact, you're even a preferred customer.

Just yesterday, you ventured into town to grab a pack of cigarettes when you stumbled into (literally) a couch sitting on the sidewalk. So what did you do? You took

it home and put it in your living room. No one even notices the smell because your home was already full of dead squirrels and expired pork and beans. 

When your back taillight got busted out on your truck, you duct taped it back together. When the handle on your toilet fell off, you duct taped it back too.

Duct tape is your go-to product for fixing any and all repairs. You've even tried using it on your wife when she won't shut her yap.