Some relationships end really badly. Sometimes those need an extra conversation for clarity’s sake. Some don’t end at all. Meaning, the two people involved don’t really talk about ending things.

It’s more like the relationship runs its course and sort of…trails off. But then one or both people look back and realize they have some questions that need answers.

If you’re

still carrying a torch for your ex, be honest about if it’s because some things have been left unsaid that you need to get off of your chest.

If so, you

might want to write an email. Make sure you’re letting them know that it’s ONLY for the sake of closure. If you don’t think you’ll be strong enough to handle

their response (especially if they want to get back together), still write the letter. Read it to yourself. Then burn it. Sometimes seeing your own feelings on paper is all

the closure that you need.

Some exes are able to remain friends. It’s not always the wisest move, but kudos to those who can make it work (and by “work”, we mean that your spouse

is aware and fine with it). We’ll say this in your case: You are deceiving yourself if you think you can stay friends with someone you were once intimate with

(even if it was only emotional intimacy) and you still have feelings for them now. That’s not friendship. That’s a relationship. You’re never going to get over them if you’re

talking to them all of the time. 

Disconnect. Completely and totally. As soon as possible. This includes blocking numbers, unfriending/following on social media and anything else you need to do to

not communicate with them. It will hurt at first. But in time, you’ll move on. Especially if you focus on---eh hem---the relationship you are already in.

It’s kind of hard to go through something like this alone. We’re all for you talking to a trusted source. Just make sure it’s someone who will give you good

advice, will not blabber it to other people and is a fan of your marriage. That said, who are some no-no’s? Your mother-in-law or sister-in-law, any of your husband’s friends

or someone who is friends with you and your ex. It needs to be someone who has your best interest at heart and won’t compromise your need for confidentiality, no

matter what.

Sometimes we miss something or one in our past because of what’s going on in our present. Be honest with yourself. Is it really about how much you miss your

ex? Or is it that your husband isn’t meeting a need on some level? If it’s the latter, talk to him about how you’re feeling and what you’re going through.

Be careful not to compare him, though. Your ex and your husband are two different people. Treat them that way.

Just the fact that you have feelings for your ex, you’re already on the slippery slope of starting up an emotional affair. Some of the signs are if you fantasize

about them. If you sneak around to talk to them. If you tell them things you’re not telling your own husband. There’s more. You can read 18 signs of an emotional

affair---which can be just as powerful as a physical one---by clicking here.

This all might seem “harmless” at first. But think about how you would feel if you found out your man was pining away for an ex of his. Hurt? Betrayed?

Insecure? No matter how awesome your relationship with your ex might have been (or at least you’re currently telling yourself that it was), you said vows to someone else. 

You are

in a committed relationship that deserves your all. Memories can lie to us. At the very least, they can edit out information. Is flirting around with the thought of missing your

ex worth losing your marriage? Every time you’re tempted to reach out (or respond) to your ex, ask yourself that question. As many times as it takes to come back

to your senses.