It needs to go on record that a good friend is not only going to tell you what you want to hear. She’s going to call you out on your

crap. She’s going to tell you when you’re a dead wrong. And she’s going to offer up advice that you’re not always going to like. That’s not what we’re talking

about here. What we mean is the one who is hyper-critical. You can never do anything right. She always has you questioning your own judgment. And compliments? You can’t remember

the last time you got one of those from her. Well, other than the backhanded ones like “Girl, did you lose weight? I was wondering why that dress was fitting

weird on you.” *We’re so rolling our eyes at this kind of chick*

Healthy competition in a friendship is cool if it's done in moderation. But your friend needs to be your cheerleader more than someone who is trying to beat you at

your own life game. You get a new job, she gets one better. You find a great man, hers is cuter. You tell her about an idea and “suddenly” she’s

come up with something similar. This kind of person is not only toxic, they’re exhausting to be around. Know one?

People who hold grudges are manipulative individuals. We can really leave it there. But just to make sure you get where we’re coming from, here’s an example. You agree to

meet up for a movie and you’re running late. It causes your friend to miss the first 10 minutes and she’s mad. Understandable. But now she’s so upset that she’s

checking her Instagram while you’re talking to her and grunts answers over dinner afterwards. Then when you call her the next day, she has very little to say. She’s trying

to not only get you to apologize (hopefully you already did that). She also wants you to grovel. A good friend knows how to take things in stride and let

stuff go. A toxic friend holds on for as long as she can. Partly to make you feel bad. Mostly because that makes her feel better (which is the toxic

part!).

You remember her birthday and get her a gift. On yours, she calls you the day after and gives you nothing. Every single year. You pick her up to hang

out. You go shopping together and lend her money that you never see back. When she calls with a problem, you’re on the line for two hours. When you call

her, she’s busy or rushes you off of your issues so she can get back to her own. A friendship is a gift-and-take kind of relationship. If that’s not happening

in yours, you’re being taken for a ride. And she’s the only one who’s ultimately gonna benefit from it.

The best kind of friend is going to make you feel like anything you want to do is possible. Because she believes in you. And that belief makes her want

to support you in any dream that you have. If your friend is the kind of friend who has a downside to every single idea you present or when you do

reach your goals, she half-heartedly celebrates you, she’s not a friend. She’s a hater. Upgrade.

This is a subtle sign of a toxic friend. This is the one who constantly has you lacking confidence about your own decisions and judgment. It’s another form of manipulation

because she gets her kicks out of making you wonder if you can stand on your own two feet. Worse, wants you to feel like you need her more than

you actually do in order to function. A good friend helps you to grow into a strong individual. A toxic friend isn’t a friend at all because she thrives off

of your weaknesses. If you see this in your “friend”, it’s time to have a serious chat. With yourself first and then with her. At the very least, realign your

boundaries. She doesn’t deserve to be close enough to do you any more harm.