Let’s jump right on in, shall we? Why did the relationship end to begin with? Was it something as simple as not having enough time for each other? Or was

it something a bit more layered than that? Did you take each other for granted? Was someone caught in a lie or not faithful? Did you fight all of the time?

Was there some kind of abuse (click here to read signs of emotional abuse)? Did you feel worse more than you felt good? There's nothing like getting real

with yourself to help you to see if a relationship that ended is truly worth starting up again.

On the surface, this might seem petty, but it really isn’t. If you ended it, isn’t getting back together counterproductive? If he ended it, is he playing games or is

he gonna come correct this time? If it’s “A”, really think about if returning to him is going to be what’s best for you and what you really want out of

life. If it’s “B”, well. We’re not saying that it’s out of the question, but make him earn your willingness to try again. A couple of phones and dates should

not impress you. He needs to convince you that he’s worth your time. Again.

For real. What about him gives you any indication that whatever hurt you, irritated you or straight-up pissed you off won’t be an issue again? At the same time, ask

yourself what about you has grown and changed. Getting back with an ex really only makes sense if the relationship is going to be better. If it doesn’t appear that’s

going to happen, stay friends. (If he even deserves that much.)

The heart can play tricks on the mind. If all you’re thinking about are the good times, of course he’ll be able to get back in. But if you know

he did some lowdown stuff that was hard for you to get over, don’t sugarcoat that reality. Put forth the effort to remember the ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP. Not just the mushy

parts. You’re a woman in a real life (potential) love story. Not the editor for some romantic movie. Tell the whole truth. To yourself.

This is a good one because if all he really wants to do is hang out and/or have sex, you can get that from someone who also wants to build

with you. If your ex really, really wants you back, he’s not gonna come at you on some “Girl, I dunno. Let’s just see what happens.” He’s going to be

more like “Our time apart has shown me that you’re who I want to be with for a very long time.” Listen for the latter. If he’s not coming correct,

we seriously doubt it’s worth your time.

Someone once said, “Be in a relationship because you’re ready, not because you’re lonely.” Tweet that out to your followers. Somebody could probably stand to be reminded of that fact.

It’s natural to have moments when you want someone to go out with, cuddle on the couch with and…other things with. But let that be the determining factor for getting

back with an ex. Bottom line, if it’s not going to move you forward in the right direction, leave the relationship where it was before he hit you up. In.

The. Past.