In A Relationship, It Feels Better To Give Than To Receive

In A Relationship, It Feels Better To Give Than To Receive
Getty Images

They say it's better to give than to receive. And when it comes to love, the little things matter most. We all love a grand gesture, but those are usually saved for special occasions that don't happen very often. The small, thoughtful and romantic things we do for each other, for no special reason, are actually as good for the giver as they are for the receiver—and there is research out there to prove it.

According to an article in Glamour, one study published, in Emotion, surveyed 175 people who had been married for an average of seven months. What it found was that even though the good deeds they performed weren't always acknowledged by their spouses, the doers of those deeds were significantly happier afterwards.

The key to achieving this kind of happiness is pure intention. If you do nice things looking for reciprocation, you'll be disappointed more often than not. Data collected revealed that the givers would do something nice about two out of every three days. In return, they had little favors done for them about three out of every five days. Ultimately, the givers were still happier.

The author of the study, Harry Reis, told Time Magazine that people should avoid doing things just to impress their significant others: "If I go out of my way to do something nice and my spouse doesn’t acknowledge it, my reaction could certainly be, 'Well thanks a whole hell of a lot.'" Basically, we should just give into our generous natures: "Humans are wired to give," Reis said.

Tenzin Gyatso, the current Dalai Lama, says, "compassionate concern for others' welfare enhances one's own affective state." So, show the people you love how much you value them through your actions. Give freely and sincerely. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose if you do.

Click here to get alerts of the latest stories